Wednesday, August 18, 2010

thunderthightning-deactivated20 asked: I have an aluminum model of the Master Sword, it isn't sharp, but it is functional. Do you think my girlfriend would let me stick it in her? What would be less prone to wounds, the vagina or the rectum?

How big around is this thing? This is important. If it’s as big or as wide as the sword would be in real life, hell no. Is it around the size of your cock? Is it around the size of her sex toys? If it’s more than just a little bigger than that, in terms of thickness, then it is TOO BIG. Also you’d want to make sure it’s not even close to sharp or even vaguely pointed, yeah, and that there aren’t any flaws in the metal. Of course, it all boils down to her personal choice. I’d personally think the vagina would be less prone to wounds, just because the rectum is usually tighter, unless you guys do anal every day or something.

If she says no, may I suggest asking her to strip naked/near naked (lingerie is sometimes sexier than nudity!) and just pose for you with the sword? You know, rub it over her body, do a little pole dance around it, that kind of thing? I don’t know about her, but I’m not really the biggest fan of sticking strange objects into my body, so this could be a nice compromise.

Especially if she has a Zelda (or Link) costume ;D

Mmm, oh Midna. I must say I love that blue body of yours so much. How sleek it is, how slender your torso is, how nicely curved your breasts are… and how well you take Link’s cock, I’ll bet you can just feel it inside of you like nothing you’ve ever felt before. Trust me, from one woman to the other, I wish I could be as lucky as you are right now, fucking the Hero of Time. He deserves a good, healthy, fuckable woman like you, though, someone with enough powers to give him the pleasure he really deserves. Me, well, I’ll settle for just watching ;)

Mmm, oh Midna. I must say I love that blue body of yours so much. How sleek it is, how slender your torso is, how nicely curved your breasts are… and how well you take Link’s cock, I’ll bet you can just feel it inside of you like nothing you’ve ever felt before. Trust me, from one woman to the other, I wish I could be as lucky as you are right now, fucking the Hero of Time. He deserves a good, healthy, fuckable woman like you, though, someone with enough powers to give him the pleasure he really deserves. Me, well, I’ll settle for just watching ;)

Sure, Link, just leave Marin on the island, just think it’s all a dream, just think that as a figment of your imagination, she’ll be fine? …Whatever, Link. I’m afraid that’s not the case.
As soon as you were out of the picture, Link, that shopkeeper wasted NO time in taking what he really had his eyes on the whole time. And your love interest, Link? The girl you quested for, the beautiful redhead who saved herself for you? Well, now she’s his bitch, Link, and while it was a little rough to begin with, as seen here, now she sits under his counter and keeps his cock in her mouth, so it’s always warm and moist, and she’s always ready for another load. Nowadays her only life goal is to improve her skills at pleasuring her master. Some dream, huh, Link?

Sure, Link, just leave Marin on the island, just think it’s all a dream, just think that as a figment of your imagination, she’ll be fine? …Whatever, Link. I’m afraid that’s not the case.

As soon as you were out of the picture, Link, that shopkeeper wasted NO time in taking what he really had his eyes on the whole time. And your love interest, Link? The girl you quested for, the beautiful redhead who saved herself for you? Well, now she’s his bitch, Link, and while it was a little rough to begin with, as seen here, now she sits under his counter and keeps his cock in her mouth, so it’s always warm and moist, and she’s always ready for another load. Nowadays her only life goal is to improve her skills at pleasuring her master. Some dream, huh, Link?

Monday, August 16, 2010
We can’t go for too long without getting the new girl in on the action! And we all know that she’s going to be the Master Sword. And since Link is her master, well, it’s only right that he gets to do with her whatever he wants, is it not? Haha, yes, of course it is. Look, Hyrule is a big place, and all that travel can get a little lonely. So who can really blame Link for this? Yeah, no one. He just wants to shove his sword into some sword. You know, I think she’d make a wonderful sheath…

We can’t go for too long without getting the new girl in on the action! And we all know that she’s going to be the Master Sword. And since Link is her master, well, it’s only right that he gets to do with her whatever he wants, is it not? Haha, yes, of course it is. Look, Hyrule is a big place, and all that travel can get a little lonely. So who can really blame Link for this? Yeah, no one. He just wants to shove his sword into some sword. You know, I think she’d make a wonderful sheath…

"Princess! I’m here to s- OH MY GOD! WH-WHA-WHA-… WHAT ARE YOU DOING PRINCESS?!"
"Mmmph… oh, sorry Link… you seem to have taken so long in saving me, that I don’t really think I want to be saved anymore. These two moblins who were keeping me hostage got impatient and finally took me as their own last week, and, well, it’s been basically non-stop fucking since then… did you know that since they’re pig-like creatures, they can orgasm for whole half-hours, just like pigs? Link, after literally days straight of sex for weeks… I just don’t think Hyrule is right for me anymore."
"But Zelda… the kingdom… your triforce…"
"The triforce of wisdom is letting me know exactly how to get my new masters as turned on as possible. Their pleasure is my priority now, Link. I’m very sorry that- mmph!"
A moblin is tired of waiting and forces his cock down Zelda’s throat. Zelda eagerly forgets about Link and returns to her new duty, the triforce giving her a god-like ability at everything she needs to know how to do.
Link was never seen again.

"Princess! I’m here to s- OH MY GOD! WH-WHA-WHA-… WHAT ARE YOU DOING PRINCESS?!"

"Mmmph… oh, sorry Link… you seem to have taken so long in saving me, that I don’t really think I want to be saved anymore. These two moblins who were keeping me hostage got impatient and finally took me as their own last week, and, well, it’s been basically non-stop fucking since then… did you know that since they’re pig-like creatures, they can orgasm for whole half-hours, just like pigs? Link, after literally days straight of sex for weeks… I just don’t think Hyrule is right for me anymore."

"But Zelda… the kingdom… your triforce…"

"The triforce of wisdom is letting me know exactly how to get my new masters as turned on as possible. Their pleasure is my priority now, Link. I’m very sorry that- mmph!"

A moblin is tired of waiting and forces his cock down Zelda’s throat. Zelda eagerly forgets about Link and returns to her new duty, the triforce giving her a god-like ability at everything she needs to know how to do.

Link was never seen again.

How to Submit a Photo

Hey guys! I’ve gotten some incorrectly submitted photos in the past and that’s not cool. So here’s how you do it.

Click Submit, and then, if you have a picture to submit, DON’T paste the URL for it. No. That’s a no.

Instead, click “Submit a Text Post”. That’ll open up a little menu. On the menu, select what you want- probably the “Submit a Photo Post” one. Then select the file from your computer, upload it, and submit it like that.

I will not take photo submissions any other way.

I will most likely include your username and a link to your profile in the post- I mean, I will, unless I forget, which might happen, but I’ll try? In any case, it WILL include it in the “notes” section automatically, not that anyone ever checks those things. However, if you’d like to submit anonymously, just log out first and provide fake information. It’s that simple!

Thanks! ^^

This is what happens if you find a couple extra secret hidden cuccos. For a peasant girl, more animals mean more money, and let’s just say that Anju is pretty grateful if you can help her out so much… and she’s very good at showing that gratitude. Of course, she might think that it’s just a one time thing, but you and I know better- you’ll be back every day for more ;)

This is what happens if you find a couple extra secret hidden cuccos. For a peasant girl, more animals mean more money, and let’s just say that Anju is pretty grateful if you can help her out so much… and she’s very good at showing that gratitude. Of course, she might think that it’s just a one time thing, but you and I know better- you’ll be back every day for more ;)

Mm, the first submission, and it’s a good one. I like the whole humanoid-imp not-quite-human-form thing going on here, the colour of the body, the hair, everything… and it’s a good thing, as I bet she keeps a lot more of that impish energy and mischievousness about her when she’s like this… while still being completely fuckable, of course!
However, I’m going to suggest that it’s not Link behind her, but instead, just a random village person. Nobody in particular whatsoever, just some unnamed NPC. Why’s that? Because I get off on lowering standards. Sure, she could be sleeping with Link, the Hero of Time, but instead, maybe she’d rather spread her legs for someone a lot less worthy of her, and give him the royal treatment instead.

Mm, the first submission, and it’s a good one. I like the whole humanoid-imp not-quite-human-form thing going on here, the colour of the body, the hair, everything… and it’s a good thing, as I bet she keeps a lot more of that impish energy and mischievousness about her when she’s like this… while still being completely fuckable, of course!

However, I’m going to suggest that it’s not Link behind her, but instead, just a random village person. Nobody in particular whatsoever, just some unnamed NPC. Why’s that? Because I get off on lowering standards. Sure, she could be sleeping with Link, the Hero of Time, but instead, maybe she’d rather spread her legs for someone a lot less worthy of her, and give him the royal treatment instead.

Some Notes About This Blog

So first off, as a “warning”, this blog is probably going to have a lot more homosexuality than Gotta Fuck ‘Em All. I use the word warning because perhaps you are a straight person who is equality minded but just does not enjoy gay porn, and I don’t want to FORCE it on you… we’re not up to that step on the national gay agenda yet. Don’t worry, there’ll be a ton of straight stuff, as well, but I just wanted to make that clear in advance.

(If you are not an equality minded person, you can just unfollow me right now.)

And hey, anyway, Link is feminine enough where you can probably not be bothered by it, if it’s the kind of thing that you’re unsure about. It’s one thing to see, like… Duke Nukem and Superman gay-bonin’ each other with tons of exaggerated muscles and beefy biceps and short hair and unshaven face scruff and gritty manly expressions or whatever, and I do hope I just painted a lovely image in your mind. But it’s another thing to see a cute little femmy guy like Link in some homoerotic positions, because… well… just because. You do not have to be ashamed to me if you pride yourself on being straight but you find it oddly attractive regardless. I will not tell anyone.

I’m accepting suggestions for a better name for a couple days, but after that, it’s gonna be locked in. Rebranding only works if it’s early on.

And I’ll also be posting a duplicate of the “How To Submit” post from Gotta Fuck ‘Em All here pretty soon now, just for redundancy’s sake, so be prepared to gloss over it.

Alright, message me with any questions/concerns/WHATEVER SERIOUSLY ANYTHING, and enjoy! ;)

EDIT: Who should I follow, you guys?

Mmm, god I love this picture, and that’s why we’re starting off with it. Nabooru shows the fair princess what happens when she ventures too far out into the desert… and Zelda is sure to come back after such tender moments like this. Imagine Nabooru’s fingers sliding up into that royal pussy, curling up and around inside, while Zelda takes deep breaths, unprepared for the reality of the situation… Nabooru leans down, kissing Zelda softly, their breasts pressing into each other…
And with that, welcome to the Zelda porn blog! :)

Mmm, god I love this picture, and that’s why we’re starting off with it. Nabooru shows the fair princess what happens when she ventures too far out into the desert… and Zelda is sure to come back after such tender moments like this. Imagine Nabooru’s fingers sliding up into that royal pussy, curling up and around inside, while Zelda takes deep breaths, unprepared for the reality of the situation… Nabooru leans down, kissing Zelda softly, their breasts pressing into each other…

And with that, welcome to the Zelda porn blog! :)